Mairead Walpole, author of A Love Out of Time posted an article on the Second Wind Publishing Blog entitled “Thanksgiving: A holiday or the trigger for the countdown to Christmas?” I read the article more for her observations than because of an interest in the holidays, thinking I had nothing for which to be grateful, then it struck me how wrong I was. I have a lot to be grateful for despite my continued (though much gentler) grief.
I am thankful I have a place to sleep, food to eat, desert trails to walk, books to read, words to write.
I am thankful for the people who have entered my life to give me support during this bleak time.
I am thankful I had my life mate to love and care for.
I am thankful my life mate loved and cared for me.
I am thankful for the emotional security offered by our relationship, which gave me the freedom to try new things.
I am thankful he shared his life — and his death — with me.
I am thankful for our added closeness at the end.
I am thankful he is no longer suffering.
I am thankful he didn’t linger as a helpless invalid. He dreaded that.
I am thankful for his legacy. He faced his death with such courage that he gave me the courage to face my life.
I am even thankful for my grief. It reminds me that he shared part of this journey called life with me, and it is helping me become the person I need to be to continue my journey alone.
So, this Thanksgiving, I am grateful even in grief.
November 24, 2010 at 3:50 pm
Beautiful, Pat. Peace be with you through the winter time.
November 24, 2010 at 4:03 pm
Thank you, Dani.
November 24, 2010 at 3:52 pm
Once we start listing what we’re thankful for, the list begins to look infinite.
Malcolm
November 24, 2010 at 4:03 pm
Malcolm, Yes, it does. I normally don’t do this sort of thing, but I wanted to remind myself that despite everything, I still could find it in me to be thankful for something.
November 24, 2010 at 4:14 pm
Grief hurts so much that forgetting all else is easy. You are truly blessed to be aware of the goodness that sustains you even through tear-stained eyes. Blessings to you especially on the holiday when you need an extra hug…
November 25, 2010 at 3:38 pm
Thank you, Carol. I am grateful for all the blessings you have left for me. Best of luck on your own journey.
November 24, 2010 at 4:16 pm
Yes, Pat, I have to agree with you. Despite the grief and how much it hurts – especially today [6 months] and especially at this time of year – I am so grateful for the love and life John and I shared. Peace to both of us and to all those suffering the loss of their life mate.
November 25, 2010 at 3:36 pm
Joy, peace to you. Hoping that your grief is treating you gently.
November 24, 2010 at 8:18 pm
Thing is nice. I am grateful I stumbled across your blogs.
November 24, 2010 at 11:31 pm
Even in life’s darker times there are things for which we can be grateful. I’m glad you took the time to discover what yours are. It gives a different perspective to life, doesn’t it? Blessings to you at Thanksgiving and throughout the coming days.
November 25, 2010 at 3:35 pm
Thank you, Carol. And thank you for all the words of wisdom you’ve left on my blog over the past months.
November 24, 2010 at 11:38 pm
we dont have thanksgiving here in Aussie land but this I know…to love and to be loved is IT and grief, well thats the thing we feel when we have had something very special and lose it. The loss is agony yet the gift is divine.
November 25, 2010 at 3:34 pm
Thank you, Leesis, I am grateful today and everyday for your support through this bleak time.
November 25, 2010 at 5:37 am
Thanksgiving Blessings to you…I often feel, after reading your blogs, that you and I walked the same path and I am grateful for your words. Even if I am not in the same place as you at this moment in time, I know that I eventually get there and I am grateful for the glimpse of what is to come. I hope you find the blessings in the brokeness today!
November 25, 2010 at 3:34 pm
Karen, I am grateful for everyone who is walking this path with me, though I wish with all my heart that no one had to make the journey. Take care of yourself.
November 26, 2010 at 6:28 am
Pat – your words are so true – but sometimes it is easy to let the pain and sadness take over. I lost my 20-year old daughter Elizabeth on 9-20-03. She was a college student at the Univ of Minnesota and a fire broke out in her duplex and she and two of her roommates all died of smoke inhalation.
As difficult as Liz’s death was, I made up my mind very early on that the best way to honor her was to live again – to laugh, to love, and to do whatever I can to make the world a better place. 99% of the time that is what I do – and it brings me great joy and peace. I have many stories I could share about Liz and our continued connection – here is one I wrote about the last Thanksgiving we had with her.
http://www.owningpink.com/blogs/owning-pink/thimble-or-finger-condom-how-food-and-family-changes-lives
http://kimwencl.com/2007/08/12/who-youd-be-today/
Blessings on your journey!
Kim Wencl
November 26, 2010 at 5:14 pm
Kim, there is so much sadness in the world, it’s great that you are doing what you can to bring a ray of light. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your story. It’s how we get through this — sharing our stories.
November 26, 2010 at 9:31 am
Hi Pat,
That was beautiful. Glad my article helped in some small way.
Hugs,
Maggie (Mairead Walpole)
November 26, 2010 at 5:15 pm
It was a good article. I hope people stop by to read it.