Blog Stagnation

I seem to have fallen into a period of blog stagnation. Nothing to say, no noteworthy thoughts, no insights, no adventures. Every day I come here meaning to write something, and every day I end up doing other things. Playing solitaire, researching camping equipment, helping a friend set up the social networking sites for his business, sometimes even typing a bit of the book I started writing. (Just typing, you understand. Not writing anything new.)

I don’t seem to find myself smiling very often, either, and yet just a few weeks ago, I could feel the smile on my face whenever I set out into the woods. There was something so basic about walking among the trees that it felt mystical. Now? Not much of anything going on. It’s too hot to do much walking around here, and anyway, there’s no place interesting within walking distance. (It was less than a mile to the desert from my father’s house, which is why I became so familiar with the desert. If I had to drive, I’d never have bothered. And even if I wanted to drive somewhere interesting, I am still minus a car.) Even dance classes don’t fill me the way they used to, maybe because when the rest of my life was a mess, they provided an escape, and now that I don’t need that escape, well, let’s just say the not-always-pleasant interactions with others are harder to deal with.

(Yep, just got tired of sitting here trying to think of something to say, so I opened a spider solitaire game. I’m hopeless.)

I have a hunch malaise has settled on me because my whole life right now feels as if it’s at the mercy of other people. I can’t just work on those business sites and get the job done, I have to wait for him and the others involved to respond to my requests for the information I need. I can’t just drive to the store to get what I need because my car is still not finished. I could walk, of course, but there is the matter of heat.

Enough whining. I’ll get back to you when I have something more interesting to say.

***

(Pat Bertram is the author of the suspense novels Light Bringer, More Deaths Than One, A Spark of Heavenly Fire, and Daughter Am I. Bertram is also the author of Grief: The Great Yearning, “an exquisite book, wrenching to read, and at the same time full of profound truths.”)

8 Responses to “Blog Stagnation”

  1. Coco Ihle Says:

    Pat, I think part of the problem might be that you don’t have any time for just you right now. You’re busy spending most of your time helping others. That’s good, but can be a bit much. When that subsides a bit, you’ll be able to get back to “you.” Just remember, you are loved and appreciated!!!!!

    I love spider solitaire, too. I start and end my day with a game.🙂

    • Pat Bertram Says:

      It’s nice to know that all this so very tedious work is appreciated. And oh, boy, do I find it tedious, especially when it’s a matter of starting over and redoing what I thought was done and cajoling people to do what they should be doing and, of course, getting the information I need from the guy in charge of it all. But someday it will be done, or I’ll lose internet access again, and I’ll be done with it for a while.

      Spider solitaire — just one more thing we have in common.

  2. Malcolm R. Campbell Says:

    Just don’t get addicted to all those Facebook games.

  3. leesis Says:

    ah Pat. Perhaps a time of….nothing! How odd it must feel to you after so much goings on, grief, business, looking out for others, house selling…busy busy busy. And then immersed in nature that puts a smile on anyone’s face if they are paying attention. And now? Enjoy the lull I reckon🙂. xx

  4. Louise Canfield Says:

    Me, too! I just got a rude reminder from my FB page. But for me, these “down” times are a necessary part of the writing process. They are almost always followed by a burst of inspiration, much better than anything I could have gritted my teeth and cranked out. In my experience, we writers feel guilty when our fingers are not pounding the keyboard incessantly, a notion fueled by the school of thought that advocates writing set number of words every day no matter what. That has never worked for me. I need to honor the process and relax into my muse. Thanks for the reminder. My guilt demon was starting to harass me.

    • Pat Bertram Says:

      We have enough guilt we’ve merited in our life, there’s certainly no reason to be harassed by the guilt demons for not writing. Sometimes I think I’m just lazy, but that’s okay too. It’s not like I have a contract or any obligation to anyone. My blog readers seems to be very understanding of my writing ways. Best of luck with your writing! (Even better luck with your not writing. I bet something wonderful happens in the interstice.)


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