Why Mistakes Happen

I worked hard to make More Deaths Than One typo-free, but there are at least two errors in the published novel.

        “I’m Kerry. Kerry Casillas.” She eyed the obit-
ary. “How many of those children are yours?
        Bob massaged the back of his neck. “None.”

And:

“I thought you were in the jungle of your nightmares.”
Bob laid a had on top of hers. “I was.”
“Then let’s get you out of there. Finish the story.” 

Errors in copyediting are easy to make. One website, Regret the Error: Mistakes Happen, capitalizes on this, chronicling the editing mistakes and corrections in newspapers around the world. If professional proofreaders and editors have such a hard time, what hope is there for the rest of us? Perhaps not much. And it’s not due to carelessness so much as the way we are made.

According to Joseph T. Hallinan, author of Why We Make Mistakes, we have a very narrow angle of good vision, perhaps a thumb’s worth, which is why our eyes constantly flicker back and forth — they are trying to focus on a larger area. What this means for us is that we see the beginnings of words, pick up clues, and automatically fill in the rest –  such as the e at the end of the. Hallinan writes, “people were asked to read a text and cross out the letter e every time they saw it. It turned out that the later the e appeared in a word, the more likely it was to remain undetected. Not only that, the e in the word the was very likely to be missed — 32 percent of the time.”

I also know from doing puzzles such as Word Finds that we tend to see the middle of the page more than the top and bottom lines, and we tend not to see the far sides of the text. If ever I can’t find a word, I know to look at the periphery of the puzzle. More often than not, that’s where I find the missing word. (I seldom do such puzzles any more. They’ve lost their allure after all the copyediting I’ve done this past year.) And this is where the typos in More Deaths Than One are. The first error occurs on the periphery of the page, the other error occurs in the second line from the top. (It’s easy to see here, because it occurs in the very middle of the excerpt.)

We also see what we expect to see, and the better we are at something, the more likely we are to skim. Hallinan tells the story of a distinguished piano teacher and sight reader, Boris Goldovsky, who “discovered an misprint in a much-used edition of a Brahms capriccio — but only after a relatively poor pupil played the printed note at a lesson.” Since the kid didn’t know how the piece was supposed to be played, she played it the way it was printed, not the way the experts misread it.

So what does this mean for us amateur copy editors? Go slowly, word by word. Resist the urge to skim. Double-check the first couple of lines on a page and the last couple of lines. Check the far sides of the text. And if all else fails, have your kid proofread the book for you.

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Whew! Now I Feel Safe?

I’ve been reading a very old book on blogging. For normal purposes, a 2006 copyright isn’t that old, but apparently when it comes to the blogosphere, it’s so old as to be . . . well, not worthless, but outdated. The only mention of WordPress in the book was the .org version. The .com version (the one most of us have come to rely on) wasn’t even mentioned. Is WordPress.com that new? I don’t know — I’ve only been blogging for two years, so anything before September 2007 is prehistoric to me.

Anyway, the author of the book suggests backing up your blog to make sure that your don’t lose your content in case the host’s computer crashes or the host goes out of business, as did someone who hosted 3,000 blogs many, many blogyears ago. (Apparently a blogyear is akin to a dogyear.) So I hied myself to the WordPress forum to find out the best way to back up my 351 posts, 4 pages, 33 categories, 1,350 tags, and 1,865 valuable (and much appreciated) comments. According to WordPress, however, the blogs are already backed up. I found this on a FAQ page:

If your blog is hosted here at WordPress.com, we handle all necessary backups. If a very large meteor were to hit all of the WordPress.com servers and destroy them beyond repair, all of your data would still be safe and we could have your blog online within a couple of days (after the meteor situation dies down, of course).

I also found this in a discussion forum: 

Right now there are 3 copies of your blog in 3 different parts of the USA.

If California drops into the Pacific, your blog is still safe.
If California drops into the Pacific AND Texas gets hit by a meteor storm which destroys it you can still blog all about it.
If all 3 go down then there is something very serious going on …

There isn’t really a need to backup.

Unless, of course, you want to, in which case you go to your dashboard, scroll down to tools, click on export, and send your blog files to . . . wherever.

I feel safe now, don’t you? I won’t think about California dropping into the Pacific, Texas getting hit by a meteor storm, that unspecified meteor situation, or that even more unspecified “something very serious going on”. Not much, anyway.

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The Magic Of Mysteries: The Art (And Joy) Of Misdirection

Ian O’Neill, the one-time advertising copywriter turned award winning freelance journalist, is the author of Endo, a mystery/suspense novel set in Ontario, Canada. Ian has written for newspaper, magazine, radio, television and once wrote a dirty limerick on a dusty car but didn’t sign it. Ian writes:

I worked for Parks and Rec when I was younger and on a rainy day managed to bring in a magician to entertain the kids in our program. It was fascinating to not only watch him perform but also to see the looks of amazement on the kids’ faces. Like watching a magician, reading mysteries is one of those instances where we want to be misdirected. Let’s face it, if the clues are easy and laid out for us with bold, capitalized letters, there’d be little joy in reading the book.

I was certainly old enough when watching that magician to know that he was intentionally misdirecting us. He’d open a hand and hold it high in the air like he was trying to get a teacher’s attention. To ensure we were all looking at his raised hand he’d tell us to keep our eyes on the magical hand, or something to that effect. I didn’t watch his raised hand, I tried to watch his other hand, but there was no way I could because it was either behind his back or under a cloth or behind the volunteer he’d pulled from the audience. Even knowing that I was being mislead, I couldn’t see how.

That is writing a mystery story in a nutshell. A reader knows they’re going to be mislead and as the writer, you can’t let a reader feel like they’re being mislead. Readers will be watching your magic hand, but they know you’re up to something and you can’t let them know what it is until the end of the final act. If that isn’t magic, I don’t know what is.

Planning The Grand Illusion

You set the mystery with a criminal act like a murder, kidnapping, theft or some other problem that needs to be solved. This is the grand illusion of the story since whatever logical reason for the crime at its discovery made by your detective will likely change. If he/she nails the circumstances of the crime immediately, it would be like a magician explaining his illusion while performing the trick. Though the detective could be right but change their reasoning throughout the story only to come right back to their first conclusion. There are always options and nothing is static.

At this point I’d suggest reading my article, Games Have Rules, Writing Has Guidelines, on the so-called ‘rules’ of writing a mystery.

MacGuffin Is Not A County In Scotland

A Maltese Falcon, a very large diamond, a chalice, a massive shark, destiny, a ring (that rules all others)…all of these have something in common. They are all MacGuffins; an object, event, or character that serves to set and keep the plot in motion. Remember, though your major plot device may be the murder, kidnapping or other crime, it won’t necessarily be the MacGuffin. Consider the Da Vinci Code. The murder of the curator was the main plot device that started the entire journey, but the Holy Grail was the MacGuffin. The major plot device and MacGuffin are not always the same thing.

Once you have sorted out your MacGuffin and your major plot device you can move on to building your story to a satisfying solution. You’ll lead your reader on an adventure, not directly to the solution, but on a meandering path you must ensure is an enjoyable one for them.

There are those capable of writing on the fly, using few notes or plans. Others go through the outlining process and use the finished product as a sort of road map to help them stay on that meandering path. I need the outline. I never consider my outlines to be carved in stone. They are malleable and easily changed. An outline for a chapter can be a single word, sentence or paragraph. I wonder why anyone would write pages for the outline to a single chapter – save that for when you write the actual chapter.

An outline allows the writer to carefully craft the slights of hand and misdirection of the story. Readers are like detectives, registering information and filing some of it under clues. The crime scene will have its clues, what the protagonist sees and hears yields a fair share of clues, interviews will have an impact, actions of characters will give up clues as well. You need to have this straightforward, legitimate clues mixed in with false ones. All of these can be worked out in an outline, then flushed out in the writing.

The Planting Of Evidence – Slight of Hand

I must admit that building a mystery story was at times both enjoyable and excruciating. There is a lot of misdirecting going on and none more powerful than the creation of suspects. My novel is filled with interesting characters, unfortunately a great deal of them are less than admirable, at least on the surface. The victim has family, friends, co-workers, bosses, current or ex lovers, who are all potential enemies. As entertaining and enjoyable as it was to create these characters, it always turned into a precarious balancing act. If I reveal too much then a part of the illusion is revealed. Keep information too close to the chest and you eliminate a suspect crucial to maintaining the illusion. That was where the outline truly was a blessing in managing the balance.

Red Herrings – The Ultimate Misdirection

Though your readers are not bloodhounds and their quarry is not an escaped convict, nevertheless they must be thrown off the trail in order to maintain the illusion and to continue the enjoyable chase. Every writer will put their own stamp on this device.

Many stories revolve around characters who inevitably throughout their daily lives come in contact with many different people and places. Was the victim involved in criminal activity like selling drugs or stealing? Did he abuse his wife? Did she cheat on her husband? Was she blackmailing someone? So many questions surround a victim, the answers to which reveal facts and inevitably, red herrings. The reader, upon discovering the answers right along side the detective, is understanding of the misdirection and likely feels closer to the detective for having gone through the process with them.

Writers of mysteries and crime novels have to be careful with how often they use  any device. Readers will tire of them quickly if there are so many that they become easy to spot, redundant or just plain boring. In other words, be selective. As with the example above, use secondary characters to chase down leads and return with an answer. Yes, the questions should be followed up but the protagonist need not follow every lead in front of the readers’ eyes. Get creative and have the detective, or someone else, do some of the sleuthing off the page.

What’s Up Your Sleeve

Magicians and their assistants take oaths never to reveal how their magic works (under punishment of hanging upside-down in a straightjacket over a frozen lake). Readers need to know how all that evidence and all those clues worked to find the solution. It all must fit together like fantastical magic tricks. Once revealed, everything that lead the detective and reader to the solution must make perfect sense for if it doesn’t, the result could be disastrous to the relationship. Maybe not hanging upside-down in a straightjacket over a frozen lake, but something far worse – the loss of a reader.

Magicians practice for hours to perfect their magic. Writers should consider the rewrite their practice – time to hone their skills, the story right along with it, to the best they can possibly be. Write, rewrite and rewrite some more. Only then will you see the flaws in the illusion and be able to smooth them out. In the end, the mystery is indeed magic.

One lucky commenter, chosen at random from Ian’s two guest posts will receive a copy of Endo, which will arrive in an evidence bag with a toe tag, five fingerprint card strips and a few ‘crime scene tape‘ bandages.

Also see:
Never Be Afraid to Ask by Ian O’Neill
Keeping it Real in a Fabricated World

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Keeping It Real in a Fabricated World

Ian O’Neill, the one-time advertising copywriter turned award winning freelance journalist, is the author of Endo, a mystery/suspense novel set in Ontario, Canada. Ian has written for newspaper, magazine, radio, television and once wrote a dirty limerick on a dusty car but didn’t sign it. Ian writes:

Writing a fiction novel can be oxymoronic since we fill the fabricated story with facts. In my novel, Endo, I made up a detective, his life, the world around him, but added facts to keep the reader grounded. I used real towns and cities but fabricated the buildings and addresses he visited. I created numerous characters but gave them real jobs: park rangers, crime scene investigators, a coroner and most of all, police officers.

I didn’t kill anyone but I did research what happens after a body is discovered. In storytelling there needs to be a mix of truth amongst lies. It’s a delicate balance that keeps the reader walking a fine line between what is real and what isn’t. As writers, we must suspend our reader’s disbelief. To do that, we need to understand how far is too far. Sometimes we miss the mark and readers are more than pleased to point out the error of our good intentions.

I’m not the first writer to bend the truth to benefit his story and I know that all of the writers reading this piece will do the same. But, I caution you on just how far you’ll go to make a story plausible because too far means the reader will not believe. Even in genres where you’d think anything is acceptable, you still have to maintain the parameters that you set out in the story. So, in chapter two you introduce a woman who can read minds; any mind, anywhere, as long as the person she’s trying to read is in her sight. Then, chapter 29 rolls around and she is miraculously able to read the mind of a killer in a basement apartment in Arkansas when she’s in California. But it made the story plausible, right?

Our focus here is on crime and mystery novels and I’m not going to spend a lot of time on formula; suffice to say most mystery novels begin with a crime.

The usual suspects: murder, kidnapping, bank robbing, theft of some kind. Regardless of the crime you choose, it must be believable. If it begins with an outlandish crime then it’s your job to talk the reader into believing it could happen.

Writers have the best job in the world. We get to make stuff up for a living. We create the crime, make it seem implausible or difficult for anyone to accomplish. We throw in obstacle after obstacle in hopes of stopping our heroes from getting to a solution. We muddy the waters with all kinds of distractions including love, lust and greed to name a few. In all of that, our reader must never stop suspending their disbelief. It sounds like a very tall order and that’s because it is.

Cops and detectives are different in all parts of the world, each operating under a different set of rules and guidelines. It would be best to find out specific rules and laws in the country or area of the detectives, cops or P.I.s in your story. For the purposes of this article, let’s have our hero be a cop from the States.

A policeman being first to arrive at a crime scene acts in similar ways to a detective in the same situation. Their eyes are wide open to the possibility that the perpetrator is still at the scene. Once they check the scene and realize they are alone, what do they have at their disposal to take in the scene. Well, at first, as I said, their keen senses but eventually they’ll use what every person in law enforcement carries, a pad and pencil.

Mundane, yes, but a necessary tool not only for the cop in question, but also for the writer. Balance is key. It offers reality at a time when you’ve introduced a fake crime. Besides, the pen or pencil could be a weapon, right?

Detectives often draw out the scene as accurately as possible. Sound familiar? I’m not sure how many of the writers reading this article do this, but I draw out my main characters’ homes’ floor plans. Or, the floor plans to any buildings that appear frequently in the novel. Just as I can check back to ensure my accuracy and not test my memory, your detective can do the same.

The scene is secured. By that, the detective or policeman will ensure that no one enters the scene thereby contaminating evidence. Anyone already at the scene, including the first on the scene, will not smoke or use the sink or toilet. No one will touch anything at the scene. This is as real as it gets considering Locard’s exchange principle. Dr. Edmond Locard, considered to be the father of modern forensics, in 1910 opened the first forensics lab in Lyon, France. He postulated that a criminal would leave behind evidence and take evidence from the scene, therefore an exchange would occur. Today we call it trace evidence.

Can shit be traced?

When writing always remember that you must keep your reader’s belief suspended. It will impact every word you put on the page. I watched a show about real cops on a case and all were huddled around a door while a crime scene analyst (yeah, a CSA), took a shoe impression from a door. One of the lead detectives looked into the camera and with sarcasm dripping from every word said, “And now we’ll just enter this into the shoe database.”

This very scenario is believable if handled correctly. Remember, too, that readers want to believe. If a person’s stomach contents can tell investigators what the victim ate, they have a good chance of using that information in many ways. They can use it as a timeline or trace them to a location. This happens and is believable. A victim’s fecal-matter can be traced but you have to ask yourself if a reader wants to follow along with that lead?

I wrote a scene and posted it to my online writing group. It was in a courtroom during impact statements – when the victim’s loved ones, family and friends convey to the court how they have been effected by what the convicted person has done. These are usually part of a murder trial and my story was no different. I painted a picture of the courtroom and how, after one man had told the killer he would rot in hell and be damned forever for what he’d done, people applauded and cheered. One of my critics refused to believe this could happen. I never explained to them that I’d seen it happen a number of times in documentaries that followed murder cases to their conclusion. It wouldn’t have mattered. They had a right to not believe this situation. There is always a chance that some reader will no longer suspend their disbelief based on their own morals and sensibilities.

Situations are difficult to predict amongst readers, but using existing investigation tools and better, the personnel who perform them, will cement a reader’s belief. And, there are a lot of different experts one can draw on to balance out fiction with facts. Crime Scene Analysts are responsible for photographing a crime scene as well as recovering evidence and processing latent fingerprints. Document Examiners work mostly in a lab to examine documents and document-related evidence which includes handwriting, printing and signatures. There’s also a Firearms/Tool Mark Examiner who is responsible for performing scientific analysis on firearms and tool mark evidence. One of the least known jobs of this expert is to examine and compare footwear and tire tread evidence.

There are an abundance of individuals responsible for tracking and taking down criminals: Evidence Custodians, Criminalists, Photo Technicians, Lab Technicians and probably one of the most recognizable, Latent Fingerprint Examiner. Job descriptions are available on the internet for these positions or in several excellent books on forensics and criminology.

While crafting your mystery referring to these facts will enable you to suspend your reader’s disbelief – what could be the biggest fact about fiction.

One lucky commenter, chosen at random from Ian’s two guest posts, will receive a copy of Endo, which will arrive in an evidence bag with a toe tag, five fingerprint card strips and a few ‘crime scene tape‘ bandages.

Also see:
Never Be Afraid to Ask by Ian O’Neill
The Magic of Mysteries: The Art (and Joy) of Misdirection

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Wringing the Ings From Our Things

I know you’re getting sick of hearing how much I hate copyediting, but it’s only my work I hate copyediting. I truly get a thrill out of reading a soon-to-be-published book that one day thousands of people might love. In addition, I get to mark up the manuscript. My suggestions probably won’t make any difference to the success of the work, but they might help keep future readers anchored in the story. It seems that nowadays most readers are also writers, and while we may be a forgiving lot, inconsistencies, word echoes, and improper phraseology easily jerk us out of the fictive dream.

One of the most common problems I’m finding is wrongly used participial phrases that end in ing. According to The Elements of Style by Strunk and White, a participial phrase at the beginning of a sentence must refer to the grammatical subject.

The example in the book is: Walking down the road, he saw a woman accompanied by two children. Who is walking? He is, of course, since he is the subject of the sentence, and the ing phrase always refers to the subject. If the woman is walking, you have to rephrase the sentence: He saw a woman, accompanied by two children, walking down the road. You, I’m sure, would never have to worry about who is walking because you’d never use such an ambiguous sentence in the first place!

The other examples of wrong phrases Strunk and White give are humorous and show why it’s important to follow the rule:

Being in dilapidated condition, I was able to buy the house cheap.
Wondering irresolutely what to do next, the clock struck twelve.
As a mother of five, with another on the way, the ironing board was always up.

In case you don’t know how to rephrase the above sentences, here are my quick efforts:

Because of the dilapidated condition of the house, I was able to buy the place cheap.
As I wondered what to do next, the clock struck twelve.
A mother of five, with another on the way, I was never able to put the ironing board away.

Another ing problem comes from simultaneous actions, when an author has a character do something that’s physically impossible. For example: Pulling out of the driveway, he drove down the street. He cannot be pulling out of the driveway at the same time he’s driving down the street. He pulled out of the driveway, then drove down the street.

I know you know all this, but such sentence structures do slip into our writing. It’s up to us to wring them out of our work.

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Self-Editing — The List From Hell

Some people have asked for the list of words that I check during my final edit, so here it is. I don’t eliminate all the words, but I do go through the manuscript and check the usage of each instance of these words to see if I can delete them or rewrite the sentence to get rid of them (particularly in the case of was, were, and had). The problem with some of these words, though otherwise acceptable, is that if you use too many of them, it gives your book a wishy-washy feel. Words like quite, rather, almost, mostly, somewhat, suppose, guess all blunt the edge of your prose. If you can eliminate them, do.  

If you have any words to add to the list, feel free to suggest them. Though you do know, don’t you, I will never forgive you for adding to my woes? Foremost on my list of people to never forgive is Deborah J. Ledford, author of the soon-to-be-published novel Staccato. She’s the one who brought “was” to my attention, as well as the suggestion to eliminate colons and semi-colons in dialogue. (Seems to me I need to add “She’s the one who” to the following list. A bit wordy, that.)

I feel good about sharing this list from hell. Now I don’t have to suffer alone.

a little			can’t help but			was
just			up			were
solely			down			that
only			begin to			is all
simply			start to			though
merely			always			matter
particularly			never			completely
practically			almost			extremely
a bit			rather			totally
really			quite			thoroughly
kind of			very			absolutely
barely			somewhat			basically
real			end up			especially
hardly			off of			:  (in dialogue)
at least			there was			;  (in dialogue)
mostly			it is			because
felt			seemed			use to (s/b used to)
off of			ever			come up with
even			anyway			by the way
however			perhaps			at the very least
suddenly			in spite of			the fact that
although			all of a sudden			if nothing else
already			tried to			a matter of fact
you know			all the while			I guess
take a look			truly			suppose
fairly			besides			awhile
actually			had			it (clarify)

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Tips For Writing a Short Story

Second Wind Publishing is putting together an anthology of mystery/crime stories, and my publisher told me that my fans expect a story from me. My fans? All two of them? I doubt they’d care. Still, I considered writing a handful of 100-word stories, but to be honest, it’s hard to write a mystery in so few words. By the time I kill someone off, drop some clues, create a dectective to figure out who did the dastardly deed and why, I’ll have used up 100 words several times over.

Thinking perhaps it’s time to expand my literary horizons — all I’ve been writing lately are blogs, comments, and emails — I decided to give a short story some thought. But how does one write a short story? I went looking for tips, and found this great list at Happy Woman Magazine:

Never write about what you know, that would be boring. Instead think of an interesting skinny person that you know and try to imagine their life.

Use the word therefore a lot. It gives the impression that you have thought things through and therefore gives you an air of authority. (See what we mean?)

If you have trouble coming up with an ending or tying up loose ends pretend it was all a dream.

Your hero (or heroine) should have an interesting quirk or a dark mysterious past. They should also have blazing eyes when they are angry.

Don’t worry about spelling or grammar, that is what an editor is paid to do. You are an artist.

Though these suggestions are supposed to be funny, it did help me. I don’t want to write a mystery story, but I could write a spoof of one, or if not a spoof, something silly. Should be fun. Still, I’d have to follow the real tips for writing a short story, which are:

Have a clear theme.

Use only a few characters, and give them the characteristics they need to help develop the theme.

Make sure you have an arresting beginning, a solid middle that builds to a crisis, and a plot twist at the end.

Keep focused within a narrow time span, and make every word count.

You can find a good study on how to write short stories here: Short Stories: Ten Tips for Novice Creative Writers.

Now that you know how to write a short story, why don’t you write one and submit it to the Second Wind Publishing Mystery Contest? It could be your chance to get published!

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Submitting to Literary Magazines 101: Professionalism

I am truly honored to have Vince Gotera as my guest today. Vince writes poems and stories, as well as the occasional creative nonfiction. His books include the three poetry collections Fighting Kite, Ghost Wars, and Dragonfly, as well as the critical study Radical Visions: Poetry by Vietnam Veterans. Vince serves as Editor of the North American Review, originally established in 1815, the longest-lived literary magazine in the US. He has been a Professor of English at the University of Northern Iowa since 1995. He earned an MFA in poetry writing and a PhD in English from Indiana University. Vince’s blog is The Man with the Blue Guitar. Gotera writes:

In a couple of days, I will be starting my tenth year as Editor of the North American Review — a tremendous privilege and honor since the NAR is the longest-lived literary magazine in the US, originally established in 1815.

About a year and a half ago, in a Facebook group titled “MFA in Creative Writing,” as part of an online discussion of editing and publishing, I dashed off an impromptu list of my pet peeves as NAR poetry editor. This list quickly took on a life of its own and was re-run on at least one other writerly blog and perhaps others. (As the movie Dorothy said of the Munchkins in Oz, blogs “come and go so quickly” so I can’t be certain how widespread the list “viraled,” so to speak.)

In any case, here (officially) is the precise text of that offhand list, originally written on 29 August 2007:

Okay … for me, the “turn-off” is different for each poem I ultimately reject. Here are a few immediate turn-offs, in no particular order:

• Botched ending … forced, too explanatory, too “universalized”
• Clumsy use of form … for example, if sonnet or sestina, etc.
• Slow getting going … should rock from first line down
• Too much full rhyme … I prefer slant rhyme
• Uninformed line breaks … be aware of lineation effects
• Abstract or image-less … unless experimental
• Superficial topic or handling
• Obviously unaware of poetic tradition(s)
• Cover letter explains poem … inexperienced submitter
• Poem sent with vita or résumé … very inexperienced submitter
• Says “copyright …” … does writer think I’ll steal the poem?
• Centered lines … unless important for theme
• Badly edited … errors, typos, grammar, etc.
• Font too small … many editors are older and have old eyes
• Monotype font or font too fancy … hard to read quickly
• Pseudonyms … let’s back up our writing with our names, ppl
• Handwritten … usually from prisoners, though I’ve accepted poems by prisoners.

There are other turn-offs but that’s all I can think of at the moment.

I do want to say that I don’t just drop the poem. My eyes touch every word. I read very quickly and wait for the poem to say, “whoa, you’re reading too fast.”

I also want to say that not every poem we take is already “perfect.” if a poem has something good going for it but has errors or whatever, we are willing to work with the poet in the proof stage. Not full workshop of course … that would be inappropriate … but suggestions and queries. In the long run, though, the writer’s in charge, of course.

Well, I’m grateful Pat has offered me a slot here as guest blogger. I would like to use this opportunity to expand on and clarify some of the items in that offhand list above. And maybe, if she’ll allow me, devote some later guest blogging slots to other pet peeves.

Today, I want to address professionalism in submitting to literary magazines. Five items above plus one other are germane. What I will say below about these six items are part of what many people — both writers and editors — refer to as “unwritten rules.” Oh, incidentally, what I’ll say below pertains directly to poetry, but of course writers of other ilk are welcome to adjust my advice for their own genre(s).

(1) The Cover Letter. Many writers don’t include a cover letter at all. The reasoning, I suppose, is that the editor will of course know why the poems are coming to the magazine. That’s okay, but I personally like to get cover letters because I think they’re polite. If they’re handwritten and say something like “Some poems for the magazine,” that would be fine. Our grandmothers told us we should send nice notes, and that’s what the cover letter should be. Sorry if I seem fussy here; I just think the transaction between the writer and the editor should be civil and friendly. A cover letter certainly can dispose me favorably (a little) toward the submission. Especially if a cover letter is fun or entertaining.

But … don’t try to impress me in your cover letter. Don’t tell me you were published here or there. Or that you have published so many books blah blah blah. When I see that in a cover letter, I don’t read it. For me, the poem and only the poem can get itself into the magazine.

Definitely do not explain the poem in your cover letter. As an editor, I’m trying to gauge how readers will understand the poem, and I don’t really care how you read your poem. Or what you meant. Or what poetic form or style you used. If the poem can’t “say” all that for itself, it’s not getting into the NAR.

It’s a good idea to list in the cover letter the titles of the 3 to 6 poems you’re sending. This will make our lives easier should your cover letter get separated from the poems. Not likely to happen but it could.

(2) Résumés and Vitas. Sometimes writers who know the cover-letter pitfalls listed above will instead send a list of publication credits. From my point of view, that’s equally annoying. Actually, more so, because it’s not as friendly as an actual letter.

What ever you do, never send a résumé or a vita; that really smacks of inexperience. Of not knowing the “unwritten rules.” There may be fields or disciplines in which one sends a vita with a submission, but not in the literary magazine world. Sending a résumé or a vita could possibly dispose me against your work. What I mean is that your poems will have to work that much harder to catch my attention. It could happen … the poems could be so good that they make me overlook the résumé faux pas but that would be a rare occurrence indeed. It’s never happened, actually, in my twenty years of poetry editing.

(3) Copyright. The experienced writer should be aware of how copyright law works: that as soon as you write something, you own its copyright; in other words, you only have to show that you wrote something and when to defend your copyright. Inexperienced writers, on the other hand, will sometimes fear that their poems are leaving their hands and could be stolen by someone at a magazine. So they will include a copyright notice on the poem itself.

This is quite an insult. An arrogant one. First, this practice suggests that you think your work is so good that the editor or some other staff member will, instead of publishing your work, be driven to steal it. Second, this tells us you think we are thieves. Do you think this makes us friendly to your poem?

There are how-to articles and books out there that say put a copyright notice on your piece. That is old advice for an older time and is no longer necessary in today’s copyright environment. So just resist doing it. Your chances of getting published will increase. What I mean is that the poem will have a chance of a better reading without a copyright notice.

(4) Fonts. Something that we see quite often is a poem that has been printed out in 9- or 10-point font. Sometimes even smaller. I’m not really sure why people do this. Perhaps they’re trying to save postage. Or they want to squish their entire poem onto a single sheet. Who knows?

Look at it this way. When you are interviewing for a job, do you make it difficult for the interviewer? Or annoying? Do you dress in garish colors that make it hard for the interviewer to look at you directly? Do you whisper your answers to the interviewer’s questions so that you can almost not be heard?

What you do with fonts can be equally deleterious. Let’s face it, editors are writers who have some mileage on them; and that mileage takes years. So quite often, an editor will be someone with older eyes. How do you think the miniature font you’ve used to get your poem all on one sheet will be received by that editor with the graduated bifocals or trifocals? There is no problem with having continuation pages. In fact, when I send out poems, I use 14-point Times to make sure they are readable by all.

Speaking of Times font: I would dissuade you from using a typewriter font like Courier. Those are harder to read than Times or Palatino or Georgia or some other standard non-typewriter font. Remember that the editor must read quickly. For example, at the NAR, we read 7,000-10,000 poems a year. If the poem is hard to read fast, there’s a possibility it may not be read at all. Ditto with fancy curlicue or script fonts. Hard to read. Bad. Also sans serif fonts like Helvetica. A little easier to read but not as easy to read as Times. You may think Times is boring but it could help you get published.

(5) Pictures. No. Very bad. No pictures with poems. Even if you’re sending an ekphrastic poem — one based on a painting or a sculpture, for example. The enclosed or attached picture is a definite tip-off that the writer is inexperienced. An ekphrastic poem has to be good enough to stand on its own without the visual image next to it. In a blog, including a picture next to a poem is a plus. In a submission, BIG minus. Just say no.

(6) Pen Names. This last one is not the same kind of no-no as those above; it is not patently a bad idea. Nevertheless, it is still a no-no (at least for me). Pseudonyms were important to publish in previous decades for many reasons; one of these is that women or minorities had a harder time getting their work accepted without a “good old boy” name. This situation has changed, however, and people who use pseudonyms often do so now for romantic reasons. Or because they feel their poems are somehow NSFW (“not safe for work,” as we sometimes say in Internet slang).

A pen name some poet might think romantic, like “Valentine Lovesmith” or “Genevieve Queensryche,” is just straight-out silly; the real name of an American 19th-century romance writer, Mrs. E.D.E.N. Southworth (Emma Dorothy Eliza Nevitte), helped to make her a bestselling success story, but taking on a name like that won’t work today. I feel writers should stand by their own names; their poems should carry the weight and significance of their real names. Not all editors will probably agree with me on this, but I suspect a majority of them will.

Okay, that’s it for now. I hope you will see the sense of these “unwritten rules.” Basically, for me, it’s about friendliness and civility, again. Editors are your friends. They want to publish your work. They want to discover the next great poet. So make the submission easy for editors, professional, and your poems will be able to shine on their own as they should. Good luck with your writing and with your submissions.

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Titles: What Makes a Good One

My guest today is Marshall Karp, an award winning former advertising executive, a playwright, a screenwriter, and a novelist. He has also written, produced, and executive produced TV shows for all the major networks. Karp tells us what makes a good title:

1. Short.

That’s my first thought.  Why?  Because your title is not just words.  It’s a major design element on your cover – often even more than the illustration.  And given the space limitations, the designer can do a lot more with one, two, or three words, than with ten.  Also, picture your cover reduced to a thumbnail on Amazon.  Too many words become unreadable.  That said, I think my title HOW TO EARN MILLIONS, LOSE WEIGHT, AND DEVELOP KILLER ABS WITHOUT WORKING, DIETING OR EXERCISING would sell a ton.  I just have to write the book.

2. Intriguing. 

I think it helps if your title makes prospective buyers wonder what that book might actually be about.  My first title, THE RABBIT FACTORY, is probably my best.  It just seemed to grab people.  And the chalk outline of a six-foot rabbit on the cover added to the mystery.  Note: a year before publication another author used the same title.  I was crushed, but my publisher told me that titles are copyrighted, and there are lots of duplicate titles. THE RABBIT FACTORY, he said, was too good to change. He was right.  The title definitely helped sell the book, both to the trade and to readers.

3. Not generic. 

My second book, BLOODTHIRSTY, is about murder by exsanguination.  I was so excited when I came up with a title that described the plot in one word that I never thought twice about it.  In hindsight, I should have.  Blood is a little — make that a lot — overused.  But the designer loved having a word that was loaded with visual possibilities.

4. It’s a title. It’s not the book.

The title does not have to communicate what the book is about.  It has to make the reader want to buy the book to find out what the book is about.  Sorry if that sounds like I’m talking down to you, but it’s a basic fact that I was late in learning, and still have trouble dealing with.

5. If you’re lucky, the title will keep on changing.

English is not the universal language.  So while THE RABBIT FACTORY is called THE RABBIT FACTORY in the UK and literally translated to IL MISTERO DEL CONIGLIO SCOMPARSO in Italy, it’s CARTOON in France, and in Dutch it’s loosely translated as FATAL ATTRACTION. 

My latest book is about a group of cop wives who are getting murdered.  They also have a house flipping business together, and my US publisher is very happy with the title FLIPPING OUT.  But my UK publisher said the Flipping part wouldn’t resonate.  I got in touch with my inner Agatha Christie and reluctantly offered up THE DEAD WIVES CLUB.  They loved it.

But months before either book was ready for market there was a lot of confusion among readers, booksellers, and reviewers.  Even when I tried to make it perfectly clear on my website that it was the same book, going by two different titles, people kept asking me how two different books could have the same synopsis?

Finally, my UK publisher agreed, and now, FLIPPING OUT is called FLIPPING OUT in the US and the UK.

6. The Airport Test.

Titles are very personal and intensely subjective.  It’s hard for an author to subtract his or her own investment in a title when making the final decision.  So try putting your prospective title to this test.

Narrow down your titles to a small handful.  Then find someone whose opinion you value and say this:  You’re in an airport. You have 30 seconds to buy a book.  If you saw this title, does it (a) intrigue you to want to learn more, or does it (b) just grab you?

You want a title where the respondent says (b).  Because the best thing a title can do is grab a reader in a way that makes her want to grab the book.

See also:
Review of Flipping Out
Conversation With Marshall Karp, Author of Flipping Out
How To Do a Blog Tour by Marshall Karp

One lucky commenter, chosen at random, will win a free copy of Flipping Out. If you do not win, click here for your consolation prize:

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Writer’s Block? No Such Thing

Linda Barnett-Johnson , my guest today, is Assistant Editor of Long Story Short and Director of Administration for the Long Story Short School of Writing. Linda writes:

In the dark recesses of your brain, known as the cerebral cortex, is where the words to your many stories lay dormant.  They’ve taken a leave of absence without any authorization. You know they’re there because you’ve accessed them many times before. Is this what is known as “writer’s block?”

Is there such a thing as “writer’s block?”  Does our writing mind shut down like a factory when it’s time to go home?  Does our writing ability go on vacation or enter la-la-land?  Or does it act like a signal light going from green, writing without ceasing; yellow, slowing down – getting off the track; or red, complete meltdown – do not pass go or collect $200.00 – stopped dead in its tracks. 

If writer’s block existed, you wouldn’t be able to write your name, make out a shopping list, pay your bills, or write down an appointment and keep it!  So unless you’re dead or in a coma, there are many opportunities to get over your “writer’s block.” 

Get Creative: 

Go to the park with pen and paper and write what you see.  Then what you hear, smell, feel and taste.  Your senses are always in working condition.  For example:  “The bird looked like it stood still in the air.”  Now fill it in with more description.  “The large hook-billed eagle hovered over the ground, looking for prey with his keen eyes.”  Try it with all the senses. 

Another trick is to take your dictionary and start reading the words.  A lot of times this will trigger something loose.  Or randomly pick a word and write about it.  How about randomly picking a word and adding the word land or village or town behind it.  For example:  I close my eyes and my finger lands on – “revolve.”  Now put the word land behind it and you have – Revolve Land.  I don’t know about you, but I can see a children’s story about a town that has revolving playgrounds or schools.  Use your imagination and you’ll be surprised at what you come up with.

I have a fun project I started that keeps my brain from going to la-la-land.  

1) Take a small box about 12″x12″ (or a size that suits you), and write “Story Starters” on it. 

2) Get some Baggies, a black marker, pen, and notebook paper. 

3) On one baggy write: “Character Names, another “Settings,” another “Emotions” and the last “Objects.” 

4) a) Take your pen and paper and write as many “Character Names” you can think of.  Just make up names.  Get a phone book if you have trouble.  Fill up the whole page.   Now do the same with “Settings,” “Emotions,” and “Objects.” 

    b) Cut and fold each one and put them in their individual marked baggy. 

    c) Now draw a paper from each baggy.  You now have a “Story Starter.” 

Here’s an example: 

Character Name                   Setting                  Object                      Emotion 

Baron Colmsby                    Concert                 Baby Girl                 Funny 

I choose one piece of paper from each baggy and this is what I come up with.  My imagination is running wild.  I visualize Baron Colmsby at a musical concert.  Someone has brought a baby to the event.  Think of funny incidents regarding the Baron and the baby.  In fact, that would be a good title for the story – The Baron and the Baby.  Could make for a funny story. 

You can make a baggy for anything.  How about:  “Story Titles,” “occupations,” “mannerisms,” to name a few.  That’s the fun of this project.  I even have a baggy with “phobias.”  Whatever phobia I pick from the bag, you can be sure that one of my characters has it.  It’s a blast!  There are tremendous possibilities, as well as a myriad of things to write about.  Keep it simple, or make it as elaborate as you want. Get your kids involved. 

So you see there are potentials all around us.  All you need is your imagination and your senses.  So, in my opinion, unless you have no imagination, there’s no reason for “writer’s block!”